New Year's Eve

It's new year's eve, and never mind that I am frantically writing a post to my blog an hour before the clock strikes twelve.  I don't think I would rather be at a party wearing a glamorous dress and fabulous shoes, sipping champagne, and counting down the seconds to a new year.  I'm just not in the mood. 

Instead, I feel as if I am being chased by ghosts of 2010, and think that if I could just put those ghosts to rest before the witching hour, I can have a fresh start in 2011.  There are cases I postponed that I cannot possibly complete in 40 minutes, topics I wanted to blog about but procrastinated until I forgot about them, projects that I started but didn't finish, friends that I meant to catch up with but never did, activities I meant to do with my children but put off for another day, relationships that I damaged and couldn't repair.  There is so much pressure -- self-applied, I admit -- to bring in the new year with a clean slate, levity and glee. 

So I take a deep breath.  And exhale. 

I resolve not to dwell on the past or project too far out into the future.  To steal a quote, "We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand – and melting like a snowflake."